I know he looks at porn; he loves porn. I hate it and distroy every pornographic thing I find. He doesn’t care.I thought I could learn to live with it. Now this Adult Friend Finder thing… I’ve read and seen that porn is/can be a gateway for cheating.
What is adult friend finder, and what are some reasons my husband has an account w/them? It’s not a payed account (I would have noticed it on our bank statment) Is it porn as well?
I found out becasue he left his sbc account signed in and I didnt realize it was his mail and not mine. I’m respectfull of his emails, mostly becasue I don’t want to know what’s in there. When I went to check the email I saw the ads sent to his email w/his user name (one he uses frequently for many web sites) as well as mail from torrent porno websites.
Has he already made the leap to cheating? He never has time to go out alone, but I do go to bed before he does. He’s always there in the morning…
What do you all think?
He refuses to go to counciling, and says that I should just leave if I think it’s that bad, so this might be my last straw.
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Everyone here is telling you that adult friend finder is a place to have sex with other people. Yes this is partly true but not only. The only way u can actually meet these people and encounter sex with them is if you pay for the service. Otherwise as a free member you can browse others profiles which may and usually include graphic photos of women and men. There are different options u can choose from for your reason being there such as 1 on 1 sex…erotic phone/email fantasies..discreet relationship…group sex or friends. so just because he is on there does not mean he is definitely looking for sex or to cheat on you..he may want to open his surroundings and explore other womens photos or exotic emails for self pleasure. however it is always possible he is on there to meet up with another lady. This is serious however and should be addressed. Approach him and ask him about it. bottling this up inside with u knowing and not talking to him about it will make u go crazy and will eat you up. Ask him and see what he says, if he denies it…….show him the proof!
good luck!
Adult Friend Finder is a dating site that caters to men and women who want to have one night stands, flings, affairs, etc.
He obviously isn’t worth it if he able to say "just leave". That’s exactly what you should do. Just leave, Don’t waste another minute of your life with this scum bag!
I’m sorry but adult friend finder is not a service for watching porn. It’s about finding a sex partner or hookup in a neighboring area. That’s ALL it is - it is like match.com or another dating site but with the emphasis being on sex with locals.
If he hasn’t made the move to full-blown cheating, he’s at least fantasizing about it. I would say it’s a last straw for that kind of behavior.
Porn has nothing to do with cheating.
Cheating is a result of available options. Which if he had a lot of options he wouldn’t be so into porn and for that matter, he wouldn’t have gotten married.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_FriendFinder
Adult FriendFinder (AFF) is an online sex and swinger personals community website. It allows members to meet friends or sex partners.
Perhap you should have a face to face conversation with him. Try to understand what really happen. As man n wife. Both should be open up to one another . Porn dont really cause to much harm if taken as in leisure but not mixed with reality.
OKay, firstly, u r over thinking this. 99.9% of all men watch porn.Its just for pleasure, not much else. Sure, it can mean he’s cheating on u. But the likly hood of that is slim if u have no other evidence besided porn. So, confront him about it and tell him how u feel.
It is pretty much a website to get together and meet and have casual sex with people. To actually talk to and see the profiles of other users you have to apy a monthly subscription like any other dating site. If he hasnt cheated yet that is the place for him to find someone to do it with. For me personally I would have a sit down and talk, his refusal to go to counseling shows his unwillingness to solve this growing rift in your marriage. If you have kids with him the decision would be harder but for me I would say that is reasonable grounds for a seperation see what he does after that. If the behavior continues you may have to divorce him.
you should divorce him if you find out more info about cheating.. friend finder is for men or women who want to have one night stands and flings.
if he refuses to go to counseling, why are you with him. he acts as if he doesnt care
i have been in the exact same situation. only i was not married to the guy. yes, adult friend finder is most defiantly cheating. it is an adult dating site that usually married people go on to find one night stands. you can go on the site and check it out without making an account. anyways, the guy i was dating went on those sites so much that he couldn’t even get turned on anymore for a real women. 2 months before our wedding i called it off. we still talk occasionally, and i just found out he is loosing his house. he could afford it if he stayed off the sites. point is, he is and was willing to lose anything over it, and he never did stop. so i am a firm believer in, once they start, they never stop. i hate any kind of porn now.
You know what first of all he’s being very disrespectful to you so here’s one for you, Why don’t you get an account to and see how he feels about it.So you can meet you a friend to i’m sure you’ll make out better than he will.
You must have done something to push him away. Sorry.
The title of website says it all - adult friend finder. Bet he’s on Fling too! He’s gross and you should leave this sexual deviant!
BTW - this is exactly why I don’t believe in marriage - lies, lies, lies and more lies!
Janet W hit the nail on the head with her answer to your question. It’s a site for people to meet for sexual relationships.
How hard is it to go to the site and see for yourself what it is.
http://adultfriendfinder.com/
It currently says "meet real sex partners tonight! Over 20 Million Members. Join for Free" in a big ad at the top of the page.
Pictures of scantily clad women and
"Adult FriendFinder is your ultimate source for free sex personals, adult dating, amateurs & swingers. Being the world’s largest adult sex and swingers site, you can find new hookups with the hottest singles and wildest couples. Whether you’re looking for sex chat, nude webcams, swinger action, group sex or free adult personals, you’ll get it on Adult FriendFinder. Turn your wildest fantasies into reality. Join Adult FriendFinder today and make love tonight."
Thats all on the front page without joining. You might want to ask your husband what is going on.
He doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Get out while you can. It will get worse. He has given you an ultimatum.
I would say most men watch *****, but that doesn’t mean he’s cheating. You said you always go to bed before him. Do you show him any affection, or does he have to go to these websites b/c there’s no passion in your marriage anymore? I would talk with him and look at it from all sides before getting a divorce.
I agree with the first answerer.
Its not a just a friend finder it a partner and physical friend finder.
He may be only flirting with them, But its not right. This is cheating. He is married and he is doing this. Tell him you dont want any images that you dont like on your computer on in the house. (take control) you dont want him on the computer. Maybe try block the sites. Maybe disconnect the internet for a bit and see what he does ?…
I think because it is hurting you so bad and annoys you. He isnt going to change for you. Maybe you should leave. tell him you have had enough and he wont even change for his own wife. you have every right to be mad. That he isnt worth your time. It is not a silly reason to leave him.. This is cheating and you not sure if he has either.
if you want to stay with him - stay but if you dont. Then leave because you dont need somone disrespecting you andmaking your life worse. Its not worth it
God bless x Keep strong
if hes tellin u to leave or accept it that means its not gonna change and it seems like u arent willing to live with it…..
Porn is not going to hurt anything, let him have a bit of freedom, He is going through a phase, keep pushing him and he will cheat. Talk to him, find out what is going on, something is going on to make him go on AFF. You have made a choice to be married, work it out, hey all us guys are horn-dogs. Turn his attention to you. Not away from you. throwing him out is too easy now days. Every one has problems and the easy way is divorce. Hey the next guy is going to be the same, most guys just are dreaming about it anyway. Like it or not, everyone thinks about some one else the grass is greener on the other side. figure it out you married him, at some point in time you must have loved him enough to marry him. You are over thinking this, it is not all about him being the bad guy. Talk to him, why don’t you try to be the porn star he is thinking about. Don’t do the easy thing like everyone else. Find some common ground.
Porn addiction always escalates, and 99.9% of men do NOT watch it. People are entitled to their opinions, but with a lack of credible, verifiable information, it is just that, an opinion. The evidence does not support their opinions.
He is heading for an affair, and a divorce. You are not alone. This is becoming a very serious social issue. Do not take this lightly.
Pornography becomes an obsessive relationship with fantasy objects. Because real people cannot compete with fantasy, pornography ultimately interferes with—and may even replace—genuine relationships. Cybersex involves online chat rooms and online sexual encounters, and generally includes several aspects of pornography.
It {almost} always leads to promiscuous affairs. Teens are sending photos of themselves nude via cell phones to each other.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/internet_cybersex_addiction.htm
I was all for sitting him down and trying to work this out until I read your last line. He’s willing to trade you in for porn? Interesting. I find his cavalier attitude much more damaging than any type of porn could inflict.
Nobody but you can decide how little you’re willing to settle for in your marriage…if that’s what you want to call it. Whether it be on the internet or live and in person, emotional or physical, what he is doing is cheating and emotional abuse.
Whether or not you want to make your marriage work right, get yourself to counseling, even if he won’t go. You need to experience an environment that allows you to express how all this makes you feel and how it will affect your future without getting your feelings and thoughts dismissed. You might be surprised how much better you’ll feel about yourself. Then you can decide what you want to do about this.
Well it is possible that he is cheating. I guess you need to decide if you are willing to live with his nonsense.
No I IS WORSE… it is a place to find others whom are nasty ..yes the way of the site has alot of peple whom are provacative opn there…so i would safely say it is has the wenergy of porn. Though this is where you can meet locals whom are ..how you say freaks….so i would check out what he is up to..
Before you end the marriage ask yourself this:
- What was your sex life like before you married? How often, how enthusiastic?
- What did your body look like before marriage?
- What is your sex life like now? Is that because of you or him? How often do you reject his advances?
- Have you stayed in shape? Do you eat healthy, exercise? Simple question, how many pounds have you gained since you first met?
After you answer those questions you will know if you have contributed to the current situation and if so how much.
PS: The typical answers to these questions are:
- Of course we don’t have sex very often, I am just too tired with the baby and the ….
- Even when we do have sex, I just don’t feel that sexy, so I am not that into it
- I had a baby, of course I have gained weight, but only 25-30 pounds and he doesn’t mind
- Oh, and no I don’t give him ora* se* anymore, I actually never really liked it, I just pretended while we were dating because I knew he really liked it
After you answer these questions for yourself, go ask him and find out what he thinks. Because I bet you that his adult friend finder is mostly or maybe ENTIRELY about what is not happening in your marriage bed.