My boyfriend and I have been together about 2 and half years. We are talking about engagement and we have a beautiful daughter together, but the problem is throughout our relationship he has had a couple of internet issues. Such as creating email addresses that I don’t know about and making profiles at the trashiest sites on the net (Adult Friend Finder, Online Booty Call , Swing-lifestyle and more) he talks to these chicks on there and then moves it to like yahoo messenger mobile, so while I am thinking everything is okay and going great he was doing this behind my back. I bust him every time. I have found numerous email addresses and figure out the passwords and log in to them, but it’s no secret between him and I, so finally about 6 months ago I had enough. I told him that it was the sites or me and he cried and apologized and said nothing was worth losing our family over, so he stopped. Well my phone broke and I had to borrow his old one, in the phone are words saved like fwb (friends with benefits) or mistress. We haven’t had any issues and I know he stopped doing it, but the problem is he has done it so much in the past that it’s hard for me to let go. I know he hasn’t met any of them but he has had plenty of sexual conversations. To me, that is a form of cheating and this is why I find it to hurt so much. So even though the things in the phone are in the past, is it supposed to still bother me? So I asked him about it and he was so upset because it was from the past and he doesn’t do it anymore. Am I wrong, or what should I do?
Looking for some input,
Thanks
Mail this post
Related Posts - I can't understand why he's doing this? Ladies and Men especially, I need answers!? I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We are living together, we have two pets together, and we are planning to get married, and buy a house. Everything SHOULD be perfect... But I was snooping... (which I know is wrong, but my gut feelings are that......
- i got a scary e-mail, what should i do? hello! Did you get my last email? I saw your ad on Friend Finder and thought I would write. I am much new to this area and looking for new friends. I just moved near New Holland from Aspen, Colorado about a month ago andI must say I really like......
- Cyber Sex, IM's, Adult Friend Finder, Swinger Sites...Is it really cheating or am I insecure & crazy? For the last 8 yrs my husband has been involved with one or more of these areas. I've made it very clear how I feel. I think it's cheating, he calls it "entertainment". To me: watching porn, roll playing & acting out fantasies is entertainment. Five years ago we entered......
- Are You Trying To Find Email Addresses? Are You Wasting Your Time? Check Out Our Reviews Of The Top Email Finders Today! I know firsthand how frustrated you can become when you think about those dear friends from your past that you somehow lost touch with. It's even sadder when you have lost track of your own family members, and don't even......
- why do I see a red hand when I try to open job offers in my email, how do I make it go away? I am using job finder and a few other job searches, when I open my job offers and I try to click on the blue writing to get to the job, a red hand blocks me from going any farther. How do I get rid of this annoying hand? I......
Related Websites - Musician Profile for Mstislav Rostropovich Mstislav Rostropovich was born on March 27, 1927 and died on April 27, 2007. He is known as one of the most influential cellists in history. From 1977 until 1994, he was musical director and conductor of the U.S. National Symphony Orchestra in Washington, DC, while still performing with some......
- Review: When Seducing a Duke by Kathryn Smith The cover is fantastic on this book. The color scheme is wonderful with gorgeous yellows, blues, and shades of brown. It was an impulse buy because of it. The back blurb was intriguing. That’s about the last truly good thing I can say about the novel. The writing made......
- The Blackberry Storm 9500 - the Most Innovative Email Mobile Phone Ever Made? It's now available to buy, so let's take a look at the fabulous new Blackberry Storm, and ask the question: is it really the best email-centric mobile phone ever made?Fruit-based fact-file - the history of Blackberry mobile phones Blackberry mobile phones have been available for many years, now, and right......
- Save Time, Money and Space in Over 80 Ways If you're looking for handy gadgets, tools and various items that can save you time, money or space (or all three!) this list of more than 80 top products is just what you need. Everyone's got saving money on their minds these days. Some of us are always looking to......
- Why Outsourcing Link Building is Mostly a Waste of Money? Why Outsourcing Link Building is Mostly a Waste of Money By Jon Wade I have now been messing about on the Internet for about 3 1/2 years. I have over 30 domains under my belt now. This sounds like a success. It is not. Of these 30 domains only one......
first off — you deserve better than that, i hope you know that. you deserve to be with someone who is, and always will be 100% loyal to you. anything less than that is disrespectful. typically, people say they will change, but cannot stop with this kind of behavior. on the lighter side, i do believe he loves and cares about you.
if i were you, i would still be bothered by it all. i would feel suspicious of what he was doing, knowing he has done it before. if the roles were reversed, how would he feel about everything? for example, say he was loyal to you, but then found out you were talking with guys online in an intimate way. would he feel secure? probably not.
i would have a good long, heart to heart talk with him. let him know you are still feeling upset about the past. tell him exactly how you feel, and even bring up the analogy stated above. sometimes it hits people better when they can put themselves in the same situation. try to work out a plan where, if you feel nervous about anything, you can talk to him and work out your issues. and at the same time, if he feels as if he has any urges, that he talks to you, so you can talk with him about why he is feeling this way.
i do hope the best for you, him, and your daughter. good luck
get rid of the computer…
I bet you it hasn’t stopped, he’s just found a better way at hiding it. Once a cheater, always a cheater. This guy sounds like scum to me. Move on and get a real man!
You know in your heart what is going on you just want to hear it from someone else! Many will tell you to let him go. But I say you should keep working on this relationship because you are a glutton for punishment , many years of suffering is what you want. Just loving someone is not enough. If they do not return the care ,compassion , emotional support and physical assistants not to mention sex. You are short changing your self. Plus if he is having sex elsewhere you could get many std’s . Do as you will Free advice is rarely followed
Both Sides—
Trust is the problem, and it is a problem!
You are going to feel the way you do at one time or another(Natural for anyone)
He also has something to accept becauise he involved your relationship with those things.
My Answer is…Both of you have to be patient and understanding at this point…or you will cause it to go further downhill. YOU DON’T WANT THAT! Family Is More Important!!!
You are wounded…but help your relationship by only bringing it up when you just can’t help yourself. This is what men have a hard time with. Women bring it up to much or wear it on their sleeves to often. It is a price HE/you both have to pay. Talk when you are hurting, just not when you are mad and he will understand better
Take care…keep your relationship as healthy as you can and forgive if nescessary
Dear Internet Advice Seeker:
It’s not easy…taking the step to become married is a whole new ‘monster’–it sounds as if your child’s father has shown some strong signs of having fidelity issues.
I believe the Internet can cause a host of problems within personal relationships, marriages, and business dealings–it sounds like your fiance may need to change his mind-set with respect to the Internet, tell him the Internet is a great resource for finding employment, researching, and other business ventures but risking his family for tasteless affairs may require he get counseling if he feels he may have a problem.
Tell him this is how much your family (including him) means to you, that you would be willing to get counseling…but the next step after catching him again is to dissolve the relationship.
It’s that serious. And his behavior won’t change, if you won’t.
Good luck!